I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
