Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dignity is for republicans.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
