Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize