i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
