I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
