her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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