the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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