Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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