Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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