WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So squirting runs in the family.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
