I have demons in me.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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