I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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