There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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