Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
