Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize