I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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