Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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