Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize