Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
