No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
