remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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