They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
His nipple licking is glorious
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