we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
