i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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