Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize