i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
