Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
