it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
