I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize