similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
