ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
