There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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