Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
