He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
