did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
