hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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