I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
