Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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