Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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