So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
