Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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