at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize