Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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