I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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