Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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