I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize