Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
