I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
love makes seman taste better
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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