I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
