i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
