my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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