i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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