Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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