There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
two words: eviction party
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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