Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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