Taylor Swift is so right about you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
