Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
