the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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