when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I touched a dick in church today
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
